It Is Not Painless

Change is not painless, nor is it for the faint of heart. Have you ever heard people say "that took balls"? Well I don't agree with what that implies - that you have to act as if you were a man, I guess, and do what you have to do (as if women don't) - but that's beside the point because what I do want to point out here is that you have to be willing to take the risks and the consequences of those risks and the pain of those risks.

One way this translates into what's happening in my life right now is that I am not currently in communication with my father or mother. I am not angry with them nor do I love them any less than I did when I was talking to them but they refuse to change their relationship to one another which has left us with the same dysfunction in our adulthood that we grew up with when we were kids and that's just not something I want to be part of at the age of 36 and with 2 of my own children. It just finally got way too old for me, way too stale or bitter a pill to bear swallowing.

The bottomline, in actuality, was that the pain of staying with the status quo was way more painful than the pain of this new frontier and stage in my life. And the Daily Kabbalah pointed just that out today when it said: "Change is what happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing." You bet.

So, sure I miss them and talking to them but if they or I died today, I'd find comfort in knowing I did all that I could and then some to bring unity to our family and then just chose to move on lest I continue to live their negative life instead of living a positive one of my own. I wish them the best, really, and I wish them both in their mid-to-late 60s an awakening of sorts sooner rather than later. They should know it'll more than likely not be painless. And that it'll take balls.