Still

Still deeply mourning Snoopy, still haven't told Ian. The time shall come this week though before his cousins and family come to Dylan's birthday party next weekend and ask where our doggie is. I don't want him caught off guard, my darling.

Grief is just such a tough thing. It washes over me here and there so completely unexpectedly. I wish I could turn off my mind so I wouldn't think about it and feel this terrible ache in the very heart of me ...

I know that time and life continuing to go on will make the ache dull, but just not soon enough. Sweet girl Snoop. I feel such a void in this home without you. I'll have to lookup some info on the internet on dealing with the loss of a pet you feel is like your child. I'm sure there's some and any advice you can give, please do pass it on.

A Course In Miracles

I have heard about this course for many, many, many years and have always wanted to do it (study it). This year Marianne Williamson, whom I love and whom you may know is very directly linked to this blog by its name which I made up from reading her book "A Return to Love," is teaching it on her radio show on the Oprah & Friends channel on XM Radio.

The course is comprised of daily exercises for a whole year and the daily lessons can all be found on Oprah.com. To say that the course is superb would be the understatement of the year and I'm just so glad that after all this time I am finally doing it.

In some weird way, I feel raw again like I did after my divorce. It's as if a new layer is being peeled back and I am conscious of it. I feel deeply connected and safe yet very vulnerable. Still, I am very willing to learn what I thus far haven't because I know from experience now, that this kind of growth while a bit scary is quite a thrill and more than well worth the ride.

I'll keep you posted as I process.