The Massive Heart Attack

Two months since I wrote here and it seems impossible. With everything that's going on, I haven't written in here for that long?! WOW! Well, Facebook has been great for sharing here and there and my journal has been put to good use as well. Everything I've been dealing with has all been so extraordinarily meaty and juicy, in fact, that I actually have a separate journal just for all that's going on at this particular time in my life. I'm not gonna go into details here although I will soon enough (yes, you'll get to be in on it all) but for now, I'm gonna share an e-mail my little sister, Nino, forwarded me and what I wrote back. It really encompasses where I find myself these days.

A preface ... the first part is written by Nino's friend whose sister passed away after a battle with cancer. It is followed by what I wrote back to Nino, my other sisters, and some girlfriends in response.

Dear Flickr Friends,

I am okay, but apparently everyone assures me it gets worse... great. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I am looking forward to cratering into an enormous deep dark depression. But until then... screw you motherf_ckers! If you could learn anything from Debby, it was that you should be loving life... it's a gift... it's ALL a gift... even if your life sucks... enjoy it anyways... enjoy each other... and praise God. The rain falls on the just and unjust alike. God doesn't make the mud... he gives you the Grace to get through it....

FYI... If you are in the Houston area

Debby's Wake Vigil/Rosary
Saturday, May 23 at 7 p.m.St. Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church
10135 West Road (corner of West and Wheatland Rd.)
Houston, TX, 77064 (We are building our new church, so be forewarned that parking lot is not spacious. 2/3 of it is under-construction. You don't have to be Catholic to go. And if you like I can even personally teach you how to pray the rosary. Yay... it's fun to learn new things!)

Debby's Memorial or her aka "Celebration of Life"
Sunday, May 24 at 2 p.m.
Earthman's Hunters Creek Chapel
8303 Katy Freeway (I-10 between Voss and Chimney Rock)
Houston, TX 77024

. . . .

Going through my wedding album looking for pict. for the Wake... I love Deb, she gave the best toast that night. Gorgeous big hair... purple "Barney" dress... Barney as the dinosaur not the store... Deb's description not mine because she felt like a purple dinosaur in it... she looked beautiful. (We reused eldest sister's bridesmaids dresses from her wedding... most of the same cast of characters... all the sisters and both of us had an addition friend named Katherine.) That was a great night!

(I do miss Deb... I washed, then hugged all of Deb's blankets today. And btw... I know it seems strange to cuss and mention God in the same post, but if you knew my sister it would make perfect sense. And God is cutting me a little slack these days... He's not as bad as some people think.)

Sincerely,
Whidbychick

p.s.- When or if I do cratered, please do NOT remind me of this post. Sometimes a good deep dark depression is just what the doctor ordered, but until then... I'll be enjoying some good memories.

I then wrote the following ...

Niner, this is the BEST personal e-mail I've had the pleasure to read in a very lonnnnnng time. Beautiful and perfect and all that great shit!

Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna go ahead and fucking cuss, too. Ha! I have been in my journal like a sailor!! (Sorry, Ma Mere, as Nino so often says). It's just enough of the aster*ks in just the r*ght places, you know? Like, what the FUCK?! Is the world gonna fucking end 'cause I cussed?

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!

Ha ha ha ha :-)

This reminds me of the movie "The Sure Thing" when John Cusack keeps telling Daphne Zuniga she's "REPRESSSSED!" "REPRESSSSSSSED!!!!"

Yeah, I am officially having a breakdown, ladies. A MASSIVE ONE like a massive heart attack and you know what? It feels damn good! So much more to come ... sooooooooo much. I'm all over the place but it's beautiful.

I love you all SO much,
Narah XOXO